logic

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

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Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

why didn't gw think of this?

from jerry seinfeld: "Seems like the war in Iraq is going smoothly. Can't seem to find the terrorists, yet we have a tremendous amount of film of terrorists training in their camps. They need to find the guy dropping off the film"

dios mio

we might be going to buenos aires in the spring. holy cow!

random food things

• do not attempt to make real southern fried chicken if you do not have a cooking thermometer. the chicken looks yummy and crispy and done but when you bite into it, it will be unappetizingly raw a few layers down. damn it. will let you know if and when i try it again (i got a thermometer over the weekend)
• this combo of items makes a great homemade pizza, pasta or quiche: fresh tomatoes, bacon, and plain goat cheese. trust me on this one.
• while other local gardens are winding down with tomatoes, ours appears to be ramping up this week. i was afraid i was going to be queen of fried green tomatoe and/or green tomatoes relish, but it appears we're going to have some warmer weather for a few days so there you go.
• apple season is coming! apple season is coming! in fact, it's just around the corner!

Join me for a quick protest, then maybe get a coke after?

check this one out. craigslist rocks.

it's the little things

from sweetney:

"best added-value improvement made to home electronics/appliances in the past 10 years? the popcorn button now featured on microwaves. call me a lazy american consumer (i do), but dude, that shit ROCKS. "

finger lickin' good

i'm gonna try my hand at real southern fried chicken tonight. i got a recipe from the NYT, and the got some tips from a friend who grew up in georgia and loves to make it (lard? where do i get lard?). she's used the very recipe i'm working from and says it's great. so far, the chicken has slept over night in brined water (6 c water and 1/4 c kosher salt). today, it's soaking in buttermilk, waiting for the time when i get home at which point it will be egged, floured and set in a pan to fry in a combo of crisco, bacon fat and butter.

my ateries are hardening just thinking about it.